The Uniqueness of Trauma in First Responders

One of the populations that I love to work with is “first responders”- Fire, EMS, Police, Soldiers, Crisis Counselors…the people who are first on the scene when others are in trouble. It’s incredibly noble that these people seek to help others in times of crisis, but this is not without its price. First responders have high rates of anxiety and sleep disorders, divorce and relationship issues, and suicide. This is all correlated to the fact that they see the worst of the worst day in and day out. It’s difficult to keep one’s perspective when the job centers around seeking out people at their most vulneralble, and often when other people have done horrible things to them. Unfortunately, due to the stigma in mental health, they often do not seek help and suffer for a much longer period of time then they have to. How can we support them? 

There are several aspects and protective factors built in to the first responder subcultures. As a friend, family member, or significant other, it’s important to be aware of and encouraging of these built in protective mechanisms. 

First, it’s important to understand the “family” culture. These people are in the trenches together day in and day out. They have bonded through trauma. For those of us who have less traumatic jobs, it’s difficult to understand why you’d want to hang out with your coworkers when you see them all the time at work. For someone in this type of career, the only people who can truly understand are those who are there. It’s nice to not have to relive your day with a curious civilian or have to explain why today’s call was so difficult. Realize that these people love their families dearly and do want family time, but that this is also family time for them. If you can find a way to merge the two- even better. 

It’s also really important to understand if they don’t want to reveal “what their worst call was.” Often, civilians who are curious accidentally ask inappropriate questions. Nobody wants to relive a day like that. Not wanting to talk about their day can also cause relationship and marital problems. It isn’t that they don’t want to let you into their life. It’s that they have already lived it once, and that was hard enough. They want to protect themselves and YOU from it. The best thing you can do for a first responder is be present and a safe space for them. They’ll talk when they’re ready. Respect that. 

Probably the most misunderstood element of the culture is the coping mechanism of “gallows humor.” The black sense of humor that develops for those who are present when the worst of humanity happens. Surely you’ve heard a soldier, firefighter, or police officer crack a dark, inappropriate joke. It’s not uncommon for press releases to come out that some first responder was in earshot of a civilian who didn’t understand this mechanism and was suspended due to the indignation. Understand that this is a protective mechanism. These people understand better than anyone that these things aren’t funny, but if they aren’t allowed to make light and minimize the situation, then the gravity of it all will hit them and they will be no good to anyone. It’s truly not meant to make light of pain. It’s meant to keep it at bay. 

Interestingly, though these responders help others daily through mental illness and the most difficult times of their lives, it can be hard to accept that they too may need help. The subculture creates a “superhuman” ethos in order to keep these things at bay. It can be difficult to admit that these difficult things have gotten to you when you are known, and expected, to “handle it all.” Not to mention, there is still a fear of getting a diagnosis that may affect one’s career. There have been stories of diagnoses of PTSD, anxiety, depression pulling people off of the line and landing them on desk duty, which is the worst thing a first responder can imagine. If we, as families and friends, can allow them to break down, to have weak moments, to not have to be superhuman, it will go a long way in fending off the inevitable weight of carrying the multiple daily traumas around with them. If, for some reason, we cannot support them then assisting them in realizing that there is no shame in self care is the best thing we can do for them. 



We ask these people to be present in the worst times of our lives. And they gladly are. They deserve a safe space to take off the cape and heal as well. We have to do better.