Meet Catherine

My mother’s favorite story of me (or one of them at least) is of when I was three. First, some context. I was speaking full sentences before I could walk and reading the newspaper at three. I have never been your average anything and so at three I was already communicating well. Apparently a little neighbor friend came over very upset. Like bawling, confused, not sure what to say upset. From what she tells me my mother just watched to see what was happening. This little friend tells me her parents are doing something called a “divorce.” In my small put together family I didn’t know what this was but from context knew it was painful. So, tiny, three year old, me sits down, pats the seat next to me, and according to the lore says “I don’t know what that is but I’ll sit with you and listen if you want. Or we can play with toys.” She says she knew then what I was going to do. I was born for this.

I’m a therapist of almost 20 years and I’ve worked in all kinds of spaces. I have experience with CPS, public health, the prison system, addiction, school based psychology, nonprofit healthcare, medical workers and first responders, the military, autism, ADHD, trauma, and probably more I’m forgetting. I’ve worked hard to make sure that I’m a seasoned, well rounded, and ethical clinician. I have specialize in severe trauma of all kinds but particularly in first responders and military. I’ve loved every minute of it. I still do and am so grateful that that’s where I started. BUT- about five years ago my life took a HARD right turn in the best way possible. As a therapist, I have my own therapist. I’m a really sensitive person and a verbal processor and I often just need somewhere to put it all. I went to this therapist simply as a maintenance act but she changed my life. I struggled with things I knew and thought were normal. What I didn’t know is that the level of impact this was having on me was anything but. I was often depressed and felt like an alien or an imposter despite the fact that I’d been quite successful. I was struggling socially and romantically. I couldn’t keep up with everything I had to do. I struggled to keep track of it all and no matter how much I tried to rest I was always exhausted. Time seemed to slip away from me and despite my best efforts I just really didn’t have much quality of life. I’m also one hell of a masker and one tough woman so I was masking all of this and managing it all but internally I was drowning, all while being a life preserver for others. It was too much.

She listened and very astutely told me she thought something was getting in my way: maybe I was struggling with ADHD. WHAT?! I was there to do the maintenance. I wasn’t even there for ADHD! Honestly, egg on my face, I wasn’t educated in it. News for you: most therapists aren’t educated in this. Most healthcare providers aren’t! The executive functions weren’t even mentioned in graduate school that I can recall. It was all theory and general concepts of pathology. I, like so many others, thought it was for the child specialists-especially those who worked with unruly little boys. BOY will I forever be embarrassed about that one! So, she surprised me with the idea that the reason that my relationships were struggling, why I could only take on half of the caseload of my colleagues, why I couldn’t keep up with administrative tasks, why I was perpetually exhausted and why I couldn’t shut off my brain was potentially ADHD. Naturally, I hyperfocused and learned everything I could. And now, we’re here!

To finish the article please visit my official blog on the link

https://medium.com/@Catherinemcounseling